dusteddown: (sprinklers)
[personal profile] dusteddown
Goddamn it, my copy of My Booky Wook isn't here yet.

Are they the singer from the 1990s' real teeth?

In the dark and nasty regions, where nobody goes, stands an ancient castle. Deep within this dank and uninviting place lives Berk ("Hello!"), overworked servant of the thing upstairs ("Berk...feed me!"). But that's nothing, compared to the horrors that lurk beneath the Trap Door, for there is always something down there. In the dark. Waiting to come out!

I've been reciting that to myself every so often, after I realized that I still had it memorized even though I'd forgotten about it for like 10 years or something. It's that and Christian Television adverts, course they're still trotting the same ones out now.

In the jungle one day, in a land far away, the king was collecting his rent, all the animals came, rich or poor, just the same, from wherever the message was sent, but the crocodile green with his temper so mean, said he wasted his money on games, the king said "you'll pay, or in the dungeon you'll stay, eating spinach and burnt toast and brains" the croc said "no, no, not that please" and fell down on his knees, so the kind king forgave him his debt, and sent him away forgiven that day and the croc said he'd never forget. But the crocodile green with his temper so mean, found a monkey to take for a ride, "pay me" he said "or I'll eat you instead and I'll gobble you right up inside". The monkey cried out and his friends gave a shout and the king came running to see. "He's learned nothing today, so take him away, let the poor little monkey go free. Now our father in heaven, through the son that he's given, forgives us our sins and our debts, he expects us to not make a fuss, but like jesus, forgive and forget.

Hmmm, I think in times of turmoil I'd get more comfort from The Trap Door opening.

I googled "you'll pay or in the dungeon you'll stay" out of curiosity and a transcript of a sermon appeared. This might make me a terrible person but it rather amused me that it opened by quoting the ad in its entirety and then went on to talk about September 11th. A quote: "This parable isn’t just talking about kings collecting rent and crocodiles taking monkeys for a ride, it’s talking about forgiving people who fly planes full of people into buildings". The fact remains it is read by a bloke in a khaki safari suit, if memory serves.

I was slightly alarmed to realize that I find Paddy Maguire on Shameless incredibly attractive.

Killers featuring Lou Reed is a bit shit.

OOWWW! Charmer isn't. Cept for the "sold it to the farmer" line, but I can overlook that because screaming along is excellent fun.

I get to see it live in under 2 months. And by then I can go to Melbourne midweek for as many days as I fancy because I won't have a cleaning job to worry about! Giving a months notice on the 28th. After last night having to try and clean remnants of a child's vomit from the carpet of one branch, the end can't come quickly enough. So disgusting. There was a huge patch of it and I had to kneel to scrub away at it while Claremontites wandered past the huge expanse of glass at the front, peering at me. The knees of my jeans got all smelly. It's hard to maintain a smug sense of superiority with vomitty knees.

Holy shit, I'm going to London next year. So excited, so fucking terrified. It's going to be awesome, but I have to pretend it's not happening so I can get back to sleep at 3am when I start to hyperventilate. I really should have gone on exchange in high school or something, haha.
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July 2009

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